Rubber Bullets

I think it is a little insulting to artists when fans say “Your first record is my favorite!” because it discounts everything they’ve done since. I get it though, that people may be saying that for old skool cred, however. But if I say I think these latest batches of songs by Kristin are the best she’s ever done am I discounting everything leading up to this? I don’t think so, I don’t love that stuff any less. Never could. That’d be like pulling a foundation out from under a house and expecting it to keep standing.

I’m pretty sure I said that when I heard the demos which became Purgatory/Paradise. I don’t like to pick favorites but Kristin just keeps outdoing herself. As if the songs needed to get any better. Blows my mind a little if I think about it too much.

I first heard Rubber Bullets in my car with Kristin as we drove down a windy, dark road away from the studio. I admit I was a bit stunned. I was driving, I had to pay attention to that. But I knew right away that this was one of *those* songs. Those that hit you hard and fast. Krait caliber. Something extra special about it. I think after it ended I said, “That was really good.” Seems trite in text like that, but it was a heartfelt, authentic statement from the depths of my self, that place inside where only the songs can hit.

I really don’t know how to put it in words, how this song feels. This happens a lot. I can never do it justice. I adore the cadence of this song, though. It just feels so *perfect*. The guitar, Kristin’s voice flowing on top of it, both instruments working together. It stuns me often, the interaction of Kristin’s voice with the guitar, like they’re meant to be. Like you can’t have ice without water. I think there’s nothing more beautiful. Sweetness that won’t kill you.

This song makes me cry. Specifically it’s the word “through” that does it. your couch is how the moon slips… throu-ugh… mark me with…” The first time, when “through” is sung slowly. And that riff. It kills me. It’s like I feel all the emotion in the song through that one word and what other choice do I have but to tear up? What else can you do?

Kristin’s been using “life sounds” in these new songs and it’s my favorite thing. The sick trumpet at the beginning of this song. The night bugs in the middle. I adore this, it brings an element of earth to the songs, grounding them here when often I find them to be celestial.

Keep doing that.

This song will always take place in the dark where I first heard it. I feel that calmness I have with her when I hear the song. It has the feel of the beach air at night. Sand beneath your feet. The song happening upon the rocks along the shore. Beach grass flowing in the breeze. It’s perfect and safe here.

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Throwing Muses are playing and I love this

“Early 2014” was when the Throwing Muses tour was to happen. I couldn’t wait for the Boston and NYC shows to be announced, I wanted people to know, I wanted to be in the excitement. I checked the Sinclair and Bowery websites often, then we decided to announce the shows on the website. Seeing everyone excitedly tweeting and posting to Facebook about these shows made me so happy. That’s my favorite. I love the excitement. I love knowing that there’s this whole group of you out there that love this band as much as I do. I love it when people love this band enough to travel sometimes across the country or from another one, just like I do and have done. I love that you all exist because you all help this band exist. But that’s another gushy post for another gushy day.

When the shows were finally posted on the venue websites, I looked at them a few times. Yeah, I’ve known they were playing these places on these dates for a while. But I needed to *see* it. I wanted to see it. A tangible, yet digital, confirmation of this. And I realized I felt exactly the same way as I did back in the late 80s when I’d page through the local newspapers looking for gigs. Remember doing that? Looking at all the regular venues in search of your favorite band’s name. When I’d see “Throwing Muses” listed there where it hadn’t been the week prior, my heart would jump. I probably gasped, too. I love to gasp. I wanna be excited. I wanna be your slave. Ignorance is happiness unless you get paid.

Sorry, that happens.

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Well, I found I feel the same way about seeing “Throwing Muses” listed on a website gig list as I did seeing it in print form way back when. I found myself just looking at it, like a fangirl dork, staring at that name, “T.h.r.o.w.i.n.g. M.u.s.e.s.” 03/07. 03/08. Throwing Muses were playing! Throwing Muses are really playing! That same excitement again. That feeling in your gut that you were gonna see your favorite band. It wasn’t just because I was young as I was back then, because I’m not anymore, this is almost 27 years later. This is because I love this band so much and there’s nothing better than seeing them play live, seeing the music come out, hearing it, watching it, feeling it. Nothing, nothing can ever beat live music. 

Plus the fact that Tanya is opening? I honestly don’t have words, beyond being more than pleasantly surprised. I don’t ever even think about upcoming shows because I like to go into it fresh, with no expectations of songs which might be played or not. I don’t even listen to the music leading up to it, because I want no preconceptions of what the recorded songs sound like. I want to be in the moment of the show, absorb it all as it happens, bask in it and love it for what it is at that moment. But… Tanya. There is a special magic with Kristin and Tanya on the stage together and…. yeah… I don’t even know what to say. Just, it’s… perfect.

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There’s a special sort of happy that goes along with seeing your favorite band listed on a gig calendar. Something to live for. Something to look forward to. I’m embracing it, feeling it, loving it, just how I love this band. I appreciate every single thing they have ever done in all these years. Every note played. Every lyric sang. Every bit of time spent in the studio recording or erasing or just laughing, because all that is in the music. Their personality, their breath, their life. None of that is lost on me. These people are real and their music is real. I guarantee I love it as much as they’d want someone to love it, if not more. And I can’t wait to be in that room of love.