Lately, I’ve been throwing the music (OMG, that was totally unintentional) on random when I don’t have a plan and I just go with it. It’s been pretty great, based on what seems to happen during these shuffle sessions. I am often quite surprised by what strikes me when I do this. It’s so random and never what I’d expect. It’s a new rediscovery each time. The song brings something fresh with it and I fall in love all over again.
The other day it was Cry Baby Cry that jumped out and grabbed my face. I was thrown back to 1987 and I was in my room with that lavender carpet, wearing out that Chains Changed EP because it was the greatest thing I had ever heard. I had NO IDEA what any of it meant but those sounds were like nothing I had ever heard before, I couldn’t get enough of them. No other music sounded like that. No other music felt so right. Now I can’t think about anything else.
Today I know the gist what it means and that’s not so great but I can still love it like it’s 1987 and not think of what it’s really saying and just love the sound. I feel guilty sometimes, for liking a song where Kristin sings about always getting sicker, because I really shouldn’t like that at all. But I can pretend I’m 17 again and naive and it’s just a song by this band I was lucky to discover and loved so much. And I can feel these sounds that are all over the place and so great and wonderful just the same as I did back then.
God, back then, there was no internet. I’d drive all over Long Island, going to every indie record store I could find, sometimes in really shitty places, pouring over vinyl in search of Throwing Muses records, buying every newspaper and zine I could find that mentioned Throwing Muses because I had no other way to find out more about this band that spoke to me like no other band ever did before. I remember finding Chains Changed in that little record store down by the lake. I remember buying it, and talking to the guy at the counter about the band. I asked him if he knew of more records by TM. Oddly I wasn’t shy, I just wanted more. I never did write to the fan club address though, because I WAS shy. I wouldn’t have known what to say.