old skool

Lately, I’ve been throwing the music (OMG, that was totally unintentional) on random when I don’t have a plan and I just go with it. It’s been pretty great, based on what seems to happen during these shuffle sessions. I am often quite surprised by what strikes me when I do this. It’s so random and never what I’d expect. It’s a new rediscovery each time. The song brings something fresh with it and I fall in love all over again.

The other day it was Cry Baby Cry that jumped out and grabbed my face. I was thrown back to 1987 and I was in my room with that lavender carpet, wearing out that Chains Changed EP because it was the greatest thing I had ever heard. I had NO IDEA what any of it meant but those sounds were like nothing I had ever heard before, I couldn’t get enough of them. No other music sounded like that. No other music felt so right. Now I can’t think about anything else.

Today I know the gist what it means and that’s not so great but I can still love it like it’s 1987 and not think of what it’s really saying and just love the sound. I feel guilty sometimes, for liking a song where Kristin sings about always getting sicker, because I really shouldn’t like that at all. But I can pretend I’m 17 again and naive and it’s just a song by this band I was lucky to discover and loved so much. And I can feel these sounds that are all over the place and so great and wonderful just the same as I did back then.

God, back then, there was no internet. I’d drive all over Long Island, going to every indie record store I could find, sometimes in really shitty places, pouring over vinyl in search of Throwing Muses records, buying every newspaper and zine I could find that mentioned Throwing Muses because I had no other way to find out more about this band that spoke to me like no other band ever did before. I remember finding Chains Changed in that little record store down by the lake. I remember buying it, and talking to the guy at the counter about the band. I asked him if he knew of more records by TM. Oddly I wasn’t shy, I just wanted more. I never did write to the fan club address though, because I WAS shy. I wouldn’t have known what to say.

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RatGirladoxical Undressing

To say I’m stunned after seeing Kristin Hersh’s Rat Girl performance at The Getty last night would be an understatement, to say the least. It was incredibly moving. It will stay with me forever. No longer will I read the book the same way, no longer will I hear those songs the same way either. This is not a bad thing, but it runs deep.

I’ve seen Kristin do readings before, I’ve seen her play the songs which go along with those too. But this? This was far different. The way she read the passages from Rat Girl made me feel like it was 18-year-old Kristin telling the story. It became much, much more real. I felt like I was there watching Kristin speak with Betty, seeing her stick a cigarette in her shoe on the beach. Coupled with the colorful beauty of Molly Cliff-Hilt’s artwork projected behind, it was pretty intense.

I sit here in stunned silence, I’ve never been quite so moved.